Bullying is a community-wide issue in which we all have a role to play in combating, however, it can have particularly devastating impacts on our young people. It is important that every parent and child of Heatley Secondary College knows what to do if subjected to bullying, regardless of where it occurs. This includes cyberbulling, throught the misuse of social media or text messaging.
It is important that parents and children know that schools provide support and advice to help address problems of bullying, and our Student of Conduct has an excellent flowchart that provides a very good starting point to understand how to approach the school about these types of problems. The college also uses Stymie as an anonymous reporting tool and parents and students are encouraged to use it.
What is bullying?
Bullying is when someone (or a group of people) repeatedly and intentionally uses negative words and /or actions against you, which causes you distress and risks your wellbeing.
Five kinds of bullying
- Physical bullying eg: hitting, poking, tripping, pushing or damaging someone's belongings.
- Verbal bullying eg: name calling, insults, homophobic or racist remarks and verbal abuse.
- Social (convert) bullying eg: lying, spreading rumours, playing a nasty joke, mimicking and deliberately excluding someone.
- Psychological bullying eg: threatening, manipulation and stalking.
- Cyberbulling using technology (eg: email, mobile phones, chat rooms, social networking sites) to bully verbally, socially or psychologically.
Things you can do if your child is being bullied
Watch
Some of the following may indicate bullying: wanting to miss school; a pattern of headaches or stomach aches; becoming withdrawn; nightmares; tension or unhappiness; taking it out on others at home; bruising, the disappearance of property, damaged clothing etc.
Talk
Start a conversation about being bullied. Don't make it intense or you might deter them from talking to you.
Listen
Hear the whole story without interruptin. Ask what they want to happen before you make any suggestions.
Explain
It's normal to feel hurt, it's never OK to be bullied, and it's not their fault.
Find out what is happening
Ask what, when and where the behaviours occurred, who was involved, how often and if anybody else saw it. Find out if any teachers know and if the school did something to address the situation.
Contact the school
Check the school's bullying policy. Make an appointment to speak to your child's teacher. Be calm. Make a follow up appointment in a week or two to make sure the situation is being addressed. Take your child.
Give sensible advice
Don't advise your child to fight back. Don't explain that the child doing the bullying did not mean it, they did. Don't tell them it will go away, it probably won't. Don't let your child stay away from school, it won't solve the problem.
What are the results of bullying?
The results of bullying can be very serious for both the bully and the bullied student, and can affect their whole life.
For the bullied student it may result in stress, lower academic results, truancy, anger, poor self-esteem, sleeplessness, nightmares, depression or even suicide.
For the bully, bullying may lead to a failure to develop skills of cooperation, poor self-esteem and conflict resolution. Bullying may also result in suspension or exclusion from school and may lead to problems with the law.
Visit Bullying. No Way! for further information, support and resources.
